Self denial
by USAgent
Summary: After something has happened to his feelings, Hibiki Amawa debates to himself whether he likes underage school girls or not. He also wonders if he truly loves his student Fuko Kuzuha, not because of her age.


I My Me Strawberry Eggs

Ten Years Later

Note: This story takes place ten years after the end of the anime. By now, Fuko Kuzuha is 24 years old and Hibiki Amawa is 33 years old

"Ah ah ah..."

Opening his eyes upon hearing the familiar moans of pleasure, Hibiki becomes aware that a much younger Fuko is suddenly sitting naked on top of him on the bed. He finds himself equally naked and making love not to his 24-year old wife, but to his 14-year old student.

"Ah ah ah ah...aahh!!" The girl's soft pronounced moans and the happy expression on her face reveal her excitement and blissful joy in the union of their bodies.

"Fuko-chan, why are you so young...like fourteen years old?" he blurts. She smiles cherubically at him. "Of course I'm 14 years old, so...?" As he looks up closer at Fuko, he sees that she even wears the same pink headband with large ribbons, which she stopped wearing after her enrolment into college.

"After months of calling me Kuzuha, this is the first time you called me Fuko-chan. I am really happy, sensei!" pants the girl.

Hibiki blinks, trying to ignore the pleasure of their bodies uniting as one. "But...I have been calling you by your given name since your 16th birthday. I... remember we're married!"

Fuko giggles and then smiles at him, continuing to ride him faster. "Sensei, are you proposing marriage to me? That's sweet. You know how to make a girl happy."

Hibiki starts to protest further, but then he is mesmerized by the close-up sight of her 14-year old unclothed body being illuminated by the clear moonlight coming through the bedroom windows.

'_God, she is beautiful, petite with such a small bosom...The adult Fuko Kuzuha's beauty I know cannot compare to the teenage Fuko Kuzuha's.'_

He lifts his torso and leans forward to embrace his teenage lover tightly. He felt the fire in his loins burn hotter as the girl's small pliant twin mounds of flesh are pressed against his equally bare chest.

He hears the girl's heartbeat close to his chest. He humps his hips to match the rhythm of the girl's riding position. He slowly presses his lips against hers. The luscious lips of a 14-year old feel so soft, tender, delicious to him. The eager man nibbles on her upper lip. She returns the favour by slipping her tongue into his mouth. He finds her tongue to be small and warm and he likes it. Then he pushes his tongue too, past Fuko's tongue into her small mouth. He keeps on kissing her.

'_With Fuko-chan at her 14 years...it feels so intoxicating to have sex. I've never felt so excited before, never experienced something like this.'_ Hibiki thinks about it aside the burning desire of plunging his throbbing manhood deeper into the teenager's warm and tight nether place. His thoughts continue, _'Not even when we had sex for the first time'_

He blinks at his last thought. _'Did I say first time? But I remember...Fuko-chan and I didn't start to have sex until a couple of months before her 17__th__ birthday.'_

The tears roll down across the girl's cheeks but she also looks full of exuberant joy. It is a sign that this must be her first time. "Ah ah, ah!" she cries in ecstasy. Without thinking, Hibiki grabs her slender waist with both hands. He is about to release his seed into her womb.

Suddenly the sensation is disturbed by the loud cacophony of Fuko's new words. "Danna-sama! Danna-sama! Wake up, Hibiki!" He blinks at the voice which strangely is not coming straight from her mouth. Danna-sama is the honorific that Fuko has been calling him since their marriage, not when she was 14 years old. She has been calling him "sensei" for two years before he married her. The image of the teenager's smiling face and lithe body fades to black in front of his eyes. "Danna-sama, wake up!"

He shakes his head and opens his eyes again. He is surprised to find himself in the bed looking up at the adult face of 24-year old Fuko, who is his wife for eight years. He immediately rubs his groggy eyes. Then he sees her again. She is dressed in her casual clothes with a housewife's apron. She still sports the same hairstyle since her junior high school days but she doesn't have the pink ribbons wrapped around and behind her head. It is really the present-day Fuko he knows now. He sighs silently with both eyes closed, _'A dream?' _

"Come on and get down. Your breakfast is going to get cold, danna-sama." Fuko says softly. He looks to her again and responds, "All right. Let me get dressed first." She reminds her husband. "Of course, you also don't want to skip the work at the Sannomiya school,"

He remembers that he is still working at Fuko's former private school, not as teacher but as a principal. That is what he is for the past five years since the previous elderly principal had appointed him her successor once she moves into her retirement. Even today he is still surprised that the principal had made him the first male principal of the Academy Seito Sannomiya. And naturally, the vice-principal at first objected vigorously to his promotion but after proving his worth to her, she eventually came to support him unconditionally.

He sees that his wife is leaving out of the bedroom that had been theirs for eight years. Getting up from the bed, he tries to recollect his memories back to the beginning of how it happened...how it all began. _I met Fuko for the first time at the track field. Ah, yes...that was when she became my first student. We were reunited two years later. Then I proposed to her shortly afterwards. Of course she accepted my marriage proposal happily. _

He remembers that she leaped towards him with a hug and told him "I Love you, sensei." He smiles at the joyous memory. He starts to get dressed.

_Fuko's father has reluctantly accepted me as his son-in-law after all our efforts to convince him. _

He prefers to forget the strong and furious early objections of his father-in-law. Fortunately for the young couple, Fuko's father is supportive of them at a later point of time.

'_However we didn't consummate our marriage for six months since we formally married each other_.' The first time is a pleasurable occasion that Hibiki cannot forget. But he frowns, recalling how vivid his dream was, and how he enjoyed being in it. With horror striking his heart, he remembers the dreams that are plaguing him in his sleep recently.

"That dream...it is the same dream...it has been happening at least seven times for five weeks. It is now more vivid than before and oh god, how I felt my own lust at the sight of a 14-year old girl," he whispers with guilt in his tone. "Am I...really a _lolicon_? Am I into this lolita complex?" Then he also remembers how he attempted to force his feelings onto his student ten years ago while they were both female and she was only fourteen years old. However, Akira Fukae-kun's timely interruption had prevented their first kiss. This memory frightens him a bit.

He shakes his head in blunt defiance. The question bothers him more than anything else. And he is scared of the answer that he doesn't want to acknowledge. He denies his lust for young underage girls and also refuses to let the dreams haunt him further. So he tries to forget the disturbing dreams and his equally disturbing self-asked question as he walks out of the bedroom into the living room of the apartment. He sees his wife and one-year old son already at the dining table. On the table, rice, chicken tonkatsu, tofu cubes, miso soup and orange juice are served. Fuko is already feeding their baby. Then she notices him. "Danna-sama, Hurry and eat before the breakfast gets cold."

Hibiki looks at the 24-year old woman for a few seconds. She is a fully grown-up adult, being five feet and five inches tall with fully developed curves and large 36C cup-sized breasts underneath her turtleneck sweater and a hip-long skirt.

He half-realizes that he no longer has any lust, any feelings at all for Fuko especially with a chiseled adult face, a full-matured adult body and a large bust like that. All the 33-year old man feels is cold emptiness in his heart. He still misses her youthful face, her underdeveloped body, her petite figure, her short stature, and her B-cup breasts. He still hungers for all of it. At fourteen years, she was only the half of Hibiki's height and had a small bust. Now she is almost as tall as him, three inches short of his height and her cleavage has grown up to a C-cup, bigger than a B-cup.

Once more he denies his own awareness of his sinful desires which his subconscious mind craves. He fails to notice that his appetite for underage schoolgirls particularly with a smaller bust is silently gnawing at his heart, eating him inside. Yet he silently says to himself, _'I am not a lolicon.'_

He smiles at his family. "Yes, Fuko. I'm coming." He sits down and starts to eat his breakfast. He then comments to his wife, "Your meals are good as usual. I'm glad to have fallen in love with you." She says back with a hearty chuckle, "Is that so? It's my job as a wife to take care of my family."

Hibiki nods in response. His eyes are fixated on the unnoticing housewife's large clothed cleavage but there is complete lack of interest in his eyes. It was more like he was forcing himself to stare at her. He simply attempts to deceive himself in order to placate his shallow and hollow heart, '_Yes, I love my wife Fuko dearly, no matter how old she is. I love her regardless of whether she is a kid or an adult. I am not a lolicon after all!' _

Finishing the breakfast, Hibiki gets up and announces "I'm off to work at school."

"Okay, danna-sama. Have a safe trip," replies Fuko. Her husband leans forward to kiss her on the lips. Hibiki pauses to consider the taste of the womanly lips. '_The 24-year old lips were not as soft and tender as those of a 14-year old. Wait!! Have I kissed a fourteen-year old girl before? I never actually kissed Fuko until she turned sixteen years old. Oh yes, I actually experienced kissing a 14-year old girl when I was also 14. She was my classmate Mizuho-chan in my junior high school and she had the same age as I. That was my first kiss.' _

He is quite puzzled by the memory of his first kiss experience. He considers, '_Strangely, the kiss with Mizuho-chan was also not that soft and sweet as the kiss in the dreams. Or at least that's not the way I remember my kisses with Mizuho-chan when we were both fourteen years old. But why would that kiss be so sweet...so delicious in a dream that wasn't real at all? Why?' _

"Danna-sama? Are you okay?"

He gives a glance at Fuko and mutters, "Hm?"

"You look spaced out. Is something wrong?"

"Oh, no. Sorry, darling. I was lost in thought concerning schoolwork," he lied.

"See you in the afternoon. Come back home later!" speaks Fuko.

"See you later," bids Hibiki, going on the way through the door with his workbag. He adds to his thoughts with false certainty_, 'I didn't fall in love with her because she was a kid. Didn't I like her for who she was?'_

Outside the apartment, he always walks off away ignoring his own doubts on his love for Fuko and trying to ascertain his false feelings. _'I am not a sick lolicon! I am no lolicon!' _He continues to lie not only to his wife but also to himself about his true feelings.

Author's Notes:

**Danna-sama** is a Japanese honorific for husband.

**Lolicon** is a Romanized version of a Japanese word "rorikon" meaning pedophile. It is short for Lolita complex, which is common in anime and manga.

There are teacher-and-student romances in many manga such as _**Sensei **_(a work by Kawahara Kazune), _**Kodomo no Jikan **_(a work by Watashiya Kaworu), _**Otona no Jikan**_, _**Chocolate Cosmos**_, _**Cardcaptor Sakura**_, _**Ikenai Sensei Iketeru Darling**_, _**Marmalade Boy**_, _**Sayonara Zetsubou-sensei**_, _**Oh My Darling**_, **_Kiss _**(a work by Matsumoto Tomo), _**Suki**_ (a work by CLAMP), etc. Kiss is a manga about a romance between a piano teacher Goshima-sensei and one of his students, a high school girl named Kae. In Marmalade Boy manga, there is one teacher-student romance between two minor characters. In Cardcaptor Sakura manga, a teacher gave an engagement ring to an elementary schoolgirl.

In Japan there is a law that allows girls to get married at 16 years, with their parents' consent, and guys at 18 years. In some anime and manga, there are married high school girls as well. Oku-sama wa Joshi Kousei is the title of a manga/anime series about a 17-year old high school girl who is married to her 25-year old teacher. **Oku-sama wa Joshi Kousei** means My Wife is a High Schoolgirl in Japanese. As I have said, the parents' consent is required for the legal marriage of their underage daughters. It is said in the little-known underrated manga such as Billion Girl and **Seikimatsu Prime Minister (**Prime Minister at the End of the Century) In the GTO anime, 22-year old teacher named Eikichi Onizuka once pursued his fantasy of marrying a 16-year old schoolgirl. However, a fifteen year old person can legally get married with the consent of the parents and/or of the authority, depending on which prefecture. For example, in the anime Speed Grapher, fifteen-year old schoolgirl named Kagura is forced into marriage which has been legally recognized by the authorities.

The legal age of consent in Japan is at thirteen years for both guys and girls, meaning that 13-year olds can legally give consent to have sex with their partners. But this national law doesn't apply to all prefectures.


End file.
